Chapter 15: Cause You Can't Have It Both Ways...

When Sidney came home that night I could tell something was off. I was sitting at the top of the stairs watching him as he came through the door; his voice in a frantic whisper, carrying on a conversation with someone on the other end of the line.
“No… no… I can’t let Karri find out. Because! Look I don’t want to loose her and… I’m scared she’ll leave me if she finds out about this. Forget I brought it up… I’ll see you tomorrow. No, it’s alright… look, it doesn’t matter. No, I’m not gonna let some self-proclaimed whore take her away from me. Yah, yah… bye.”
He hung up the phone and looked around, finally seeing me for the first time. I could see his entire body tense at my presence, his mind wondering how much I had heard. “Oh, hey babe! What are you still doing awake?”

“I was talking to Max-”

“What did he say?” He scrambled up the stairs towards me, grabbing my arms in his hands and pulling me up towards him. “When were you talking to him?”

“Sidney!” I took a step back, pulling myself out of his grasp. “What’s wrong with you?” My arms were still throbbing with the pressure of his grip on me.

“Sorry, I’m sorry… I just, had a bad night. Are you ok?”

“I’m fine. I was just saying that I called Max when you didn’t answer your phone and he said he saw you in the gym. He said you’d send him home but, that was a long time ago… I was worried about you…”

His face was apologetic at once, “I’m sorry Karri, I should have called you… I just had a bad practice and I spent a long time in the gym trying to work it off.” He sighed and took a step towards me; I allowed him to pull me into a tight hug.

“Who were you talking to?” I asked, my voice muffled as my face pressed into his chest.

“Flower.”

“You seemed upset, what were you talking about?”

“Nothing.”

I knew he was hiding something from me, something that he didn’t want me to know, something bad, but I wasn’t sure what it was. I tried to ignore it as he took my hand and lead me down the hall towards our room.

Sidney was sleeping soundly beside me; his arms and legs intertwined with mine. I was comfortable, I loved sleeping beside him; waking up next to him in the morning was the prototype of perfection. I had grown up knowing this was the place I wanted to be, but I had also spent years trying to deal with the idea of never being here again.
Oddly enough, tonight, I found myself trying to find a way to remove myself of Sidney’s arms; without his knowledge.

Something just wasn’t sitting right, I thought to myself as I crossed the bedroom towards the desk where my cell phone was sitting. I grabbed it and headed into the bathroom - to avoid Sidney seeing the light from the screen. I flipped through my contacts until I found Max’s number.

Are you awake?

For you, oui. I felt a smile spread across my face; I knew Max would be the right person to ask.

I need to ask you something, and I need to know the truth.

If I know it, I’ll tell you…

I sat still for a moment, trying to find the question that I needed answered. Max, I know Sidney has always loved me; but who was the girl he was seeing before I came here? I waited for his response; praying it would be along the lines of ‘Sidney never even looked at another girl’, but I knew if I wanted to be lied to and told everything was just peachy, I could have asked Vero, Sana or Marc.

Kourtney. Was the one word answer he answered.

I stared at the tiny screen until it went dark, wondering why I had asked; having a name didn’t make me feel better, nor did knowing for sure. Everything ok babe? Max texted again, after getting no response from me.

When was the last time he saw her? My breathing quickened as I hit send.

That I don’t know… not since you’ve been down.

She’s the Emma girls’ sister right? I asked, referring to the bitch I had had the run in with at the banquet.

Yah.

Was he sleeping with her? I typed, then hit send. I had no idea why I was doing this to myself. Did it matter? Yes… even though it shouldn’t. I had ignored every man after Sidney and I broke up, but that was me; I couldn’t expect Sidney to ignore every girl just because he still loved me… but if he loved me then why would he even see another girl? I sighed as I felt the phone vibrate in my hands considering for a split second to not open it.

Yes, he was sleeping with her. What’s going on Karri? Why all the questions?

I couldn’t make my hands type the right letters, as tears blurred my vision. Instead I snuck out the bedroom and down the hall; hitting ’call’ on Max’s name.

“Max?” I sobbed into the mouthpiece.

“Karri, what’s going on? What’s happening?” I could hear his voice, sick with worry; I was so selfish - keeping him awake like this.

“Sidney was talking to Marc when he got home, he didn’t see me on the stairs and I heard… I heard…” I started sobbing, angry with myself for not being able to get the words out.

“Shh… shh… it’s ok Karri, just take your time.” Max indulged me from the other end of the phone. After a few moments of trying to pull myself together, I started again.

“He was saying that he didn’t want me to find out, because if I knew I’d leave him… then he said he wasn’t going to loose me over a ’whore’ or something.”

Max let out a sigh, “I don’t know… I’m not sure what that means. Maybe he thinks you’ll leave him if you know he slept with someone else…”

“Even though we weren’t together? That doesn’t make sense… Max, what if he’s still sleeping with her?”

There was silence on the other end of the phone; all I could hear was Max’s breathing as he thought my words over. “Karri, I don’t think he is I mean… he’s not that kind of guy.”

Every part of me wanted to believe Max; but I couldn’t bring myself to. I had never thought Sidney would be the type of guy to have sex with some random girl either, and I didn’t know Sidney to be someone to lie - which he had done, to me.
What else hasn’t he told me? I thought silently as tears reformed in my eyes.
“Could we maybe get together Max? I just don’t know what to do…”

“Sure babe. I’ll see you tomorrow, try to get some sleep.”


Sidney’s POV

“No… no… I can’t let Karri find out.” I whispered frantically into my phone, closing the door quietly behind me.

“Why not?” Flower asked from the other end of the line, still confused about my mood.

“Because! Look I don’t want to loose her and… I’m scared she’ll leave me if she finds out about this.”

“Sid, Karri loves you not Max, she’s not gonna leave you because you think he’s in love with her. Besides, she spends a lot of time with him… don’t you think it’d be better to tell her now then… wait till… something happens?”

“Forget I brought it up… I’ll see you tomorrow.” I replied abruptly, ready for this conversation to end.

“Are you sure you’re ok, want me to go over?”

“No it’s alright…”

“Sid-”

“Look, it doesn’t matter.” I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

“Sidney, I think you just need to tell her…”

“No. I’m not gonna let some self-proclaimed whore take her away from me.”

“Just don’t do anything yet, ok?”

“Yah, yah… bye.” I hung up on Flower and turned to see Karri sitting at the top of the stairs. “Oh, hey babe! What are you still doing awake?”

“I was talking to Max-” She began, but I cut her off.

“What did he say?” I shouted as I scrambled up the stairs towards her and grabbed her, pulling her towards me. “When were you talking to him?”

“Sidney!” She exclaimed in surprise, pushing me back. “What’s wrong with you?” She sighed, rubbing her arms.

“Sorry, I’m sorry… I just, had a bad night. Are you ok?”

“I’m fine. I was just saying that I called Max when you didn’t answer your phone and he said he saw you in the gym. He said you’d send him home but, that was a long time ago… I was worried about you…”

I let out a sigh, “I’m sorry Karri, I should have called you… I just had a bad practice and I spent a long time in the gym trying to work it off.” I sighed again, taking a step towards her, pulling her against me in a tight hug.

“Who were you talking to?” She asked, as I squished her into my chest.

“Flower.” I said, more shortly then I should have.

“You seemed upset, what were you talking about?”

“Nothing.” Oh, other than talking about how Max Talbot is in love with you but… you know… nothing important.



I woke up from a restless sleep to find Karri gone. Instantly I felt fear take over my body, what If she’s run again?

I got out of bed, intending to begin a man-hunt for her; but stopping short in the hallway when I heard her voice coming out from one of the spare rooms. “Could we maybe get together Max? I just don’t know what to do…”

My breath caught in my throat as I stood outside the door, listening to them say goodnight to each other. I heard the spring of the bed as she pushed herself off heading to the door. She pulled the door open and came face to face with me. “Oh my god Sidney!” She screeched, grabbing her chest. “You scared the crap out of me.” She started to chuckle a bit, but I could see the tears in her eyes.

“Karrington.” I began, trying to stay as clam as possible. “I never want you to talk to Max Talbot, ever again.”

She stared at me for a minute, all emotion drained from her face; a smile threatening the corner of her mouth as she tried to decided whether or not I was serious. My grimace left no room for misinterpretation. “What are you talking about Sidney?” She finally asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“It’s me or him Karri… if you love me, you’ll stay away from Max.”

She looked like I had slapped her, “Sidney you know I love you-”

“Then I guess there’s nothing to think about is there?” I took her by the hand and lead her back to our bedroom, thankful when she didn’t fight me.