It was very late, or very early, however you wanted to look at it. I had ended up going for a run into around the neighbourhood and then into the suburbs, before catching a cab so that I could watch the sunrise over the Westend Bridge.
It was a place Mario had showed me when I first moved here. As someone who had left the woman he loved back home, Mario understood what I was going through. He had taken me up here so that I too might have a place to think about her, without having to be bothered by anyone. It was here that I had chosen to take my solace.
I felt horrible. Stupid, foolish, sad, angry, but most of all, I felt like an asshole. Not only had I snapped at Marc and Vero, and made a jerk of myself infront of my parent, but I had hurt Karri. I had yelled at her, disrespected her and basically allowed all of the pent up frustration I'd been feeling to boil over in her direction.
It was hard enough being so upset over what had happened between us all those years ago without adding another layer on top. Why did I have to be so stupid? Normally I was always in control of my emotions... off the ice at least. There was just something about Karrington though, she stirred up such strong feelings in me.
I knew that I should probably be heading home, just like I knew that sound of tires on gravel was probably the sound of someone coming to find me. I was sitting on the ground and I didn't bother to turn around as I heared the car door slam. "How much trouble am I in?"
"Loads of it." Mario chuckled, coming up to stand behind me. I sighed. "I'm kidding... no one expects you to be perfect Sidney, everyone has a bad day."
"You don't understand what I did Mario... I was awful..."
"No, you weren't awful. You were nothing more than a boy who's been very, very hurt. There's no right or wrong when it comes to love Sidney... you just gotta do what feels right."
Mario sat down beside me, silently, as we continued to watch the sunrise over the city that we both loved so much. The full circle of the sun was in view before we spoke again. "Did you tell them where I was?"
"I said that, I had a good idea where you would be... I thought you might want to be alone for a little while though."
"Yah... thanks." I looked over at Mario for the first time. He was wearing a hoodie and a pair of jeans, he looked almost awkward without a suit on. I pushed that thought aside and began talking, "I don't know what to do."
"Oh?"
"I love her Mario, she just doesn't seem to care. I can't make her love me but I can't make myself stop loving her either."
"I wouldn't say that she doesn't care. I think that you're both so sure the other one is in the wrong, that you refuse to see anything else."
"But... she's the one that didn't want me anymore... and then she shows up here, and expects what?"
"Sid. You seem to think that she doesn't want you, and she seems to think that you don't want her. Did you ever think that maybe, well... maybe you both want each other and you're both too scared to get hurt again."
"Do you really think she still wants to be with me?"
"Well... first off she's here. Secondly, you didn't see her after you left last night. She was pretty upset about it... Sidney... what happened?"
"We were watching a movie and we started talking about the people-"
"No, I mean, what happened before you left Cole Harbour? How did it end?"
I exhaled slowly. Was I really ready to talk about this again? I had told Marc enough that he knew about my feelings and about how Karri rejected me... but was I really ready to tell someone everything? I looked over at Mario; he was still watching the Pittsburgh skyline.
"Do you know Nathalie and I broke up before we were married?"
"What?!"
"Yah... we broke up shortly after I got drafted to Pittsburgh."
"But you never said..."
"It doesn't really matter... it worked out."
"How?" I couldn't hide my interest from him and he chuckled at my reaction.
"Well," he began softly, I could tell that he was picking his words carefully. "When I got drafted to Pittsuburgh, she stayed behind in Quebec. We thought that we could make it work through anything but, I was so caught up in the hype and the stardom that I forgot who I was. Forgot about the things that were really important. She ended it with me and we didn't talk for months. I was devistaed but, I thought I could get along without her. Finally one night after a very hard lost I got home and realized that... no matter how much the people of this city loved me and no matter how well I played on the ice, it would never change the fact that she was gone. What's the point of living the dream you created with someone, when they aren't there to share it with? I knew what I had to do, and the next day off that I had, I flew back home. I told her that I was stupid and foolish and that I needed her in my life always. She agreed that I was stupid and foolish, and then she told me that she had been miserable without me. She transfered down to Pittsburgh and finished her Bachelors. Then we got married."
"But she broke up with you... how did you know that she would take you back?"
"I didn't, but sometimes the prize outweighs the risk." I thought about everything he had said, compairing it to my own story, wondering if I would ever have my happy ending.
We had fallen into silence again, Mario allowing me to absorbe this new information. Finally I spoke.
"It was summer. The camera crews were moving their stuff out of my parents basement. We had just found out that I was most likely going to Pittsburgh. I was sad cause it seemed so far away from mom, dad and Taylor but I was happy that I was going to get to learn from the best." I looked over at Mario and he smiled at this. "I went across the street to tell Karrington about it and she seemed please. I could that there was something wrong but I didn't press it.
When draft day came, she stayed in Cole Harbour, some of my sponsors felt that having my girlfriend at the draft wouldn't be good for publicity and she laughed about it. She use to say she was going to be 'the most hated girl in Pittsburgh'.
When I got home from training camp things were different. I didn't bother to unpack my bags cause I was only planning on being home a few days. When she came over she saw all the suitcases and called me lazy, I asked her if she needed suitcases or if she had some already..." I took a breath then exhaled, I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as I spoke.
"She said that we needed to talk....
"Sidney, I'm not going with you."
"What? What's do you mean your not going with me? Is this the 'fear of flying' thing again, cause I'll just drive down with you if you want... you know babe, you're gonna have to get over that! We're going to be flying to the away games and stuff-"
"No Sidney, I'm not going with you... at all." She looks sad, like she doesn't want to be saying this, but she is.
"I don't understand... 'at all'? When are you coming down?" I'm trying to figure out what she means, she can't really be breaking up with me. She loves me.
"I can't move to Pittsburgh with you. Sidney, I got accepted into Dalhousie and I'm going to stay here, in Nova Scotia. I'm going into Sciences... then going for my Education."
"But you can do that in Pittsburgh..."
"I didn't get a scholarship to Pittsburgh, and you know I can't afford it."
"I can afford it..."
"I already missed the deadline anyway."
"Well you can go to school next year then..."
"Sidney, I'm not taking a year off of school. I'm going to Dalhousie, I leave tomorrow."
"Why are you making excuses? Why won't you just come with me? I'm sure I could talk to Mario, he could probably pull some strings and get you registered for this September in Pittsburgh."
"I don't want in to a school because I'm dating Sidney Crosby, why can't you just accept that I'm doing this?"
"Because you're being ridiculous! There's no reason for you to stay here... you're suppose to be coming with me."
"This is important to me Sidney... I really want to be a teacher... you know that."
"Yah, and you can be a teacher... in Pittsburgh."
"I just don't see the point of that Sidney I mean, we won't even be together in another year." She breaths in fast. She doesn't mean to say that out loud but she did. She doesn't plan on staying with me forever. She wanted me while I was convienient to her, well she was not doing anything else. Now that she has plan she doesn't need me anymore... how could I have been so stupid. I can't think of what to say, I'm looking at her with my mouth open. She's trying to find words to comfort me but she can't. She starts walking towards me but I get off my bed and move away from her.
"Sidney I didn't mean..."
"Don't touch me."
"Sidney please, I didn't mean that I don't want-"
"No, you made it very clear what you don't want. Apparently that includes me. Fine then, I didn't want you to come anyway." I don't mean that, I don't mean any of that but she hurt me so bad. As horrible as it is I want to hurt her back. Tears form in my eyes and I try to blink them away, I cannot believe this is happening.
"You didn't want..."
"No... I didn't want you to come anyway. I just felt bad leaving you here... but apparently you'd rather be here then with me. Good. There's a million girls like you in Pittsburgh, anyone could take your place... and they'll go anywhere for me." No one could take her place, and I know that I'm lying. But it doesn't matter. Tears are falling from her eyes and this gives me some piece of dignity back, at least I'm not the only one crying.
"Well good then, if that's what you want. I'll leave you alone to pack."
"Already packed remember, don't want to stay here any longer than I have to."
"Oh right, all your new girlfriends are waiting!"
"Yep."
"You're unbelieveable you know that?"
"That's what they keep telling me." I'm being an asshole, good. My heart is breaking out of my chest, at least she can feel the intensity of my emotions, she's backing away towards the door.
"Well you better get going... don't want to keep all those puckbunnies waiting, you know, all those stupid girls that actually give a shit about stupid worthless hockey players like you."
"Get out."
The tears fell quickly, but I didn't even try to hide them anymore. Mario sat in silence as he contemplates my story. He glanced over his shoulder then and smiled. "I think there's more to it than that Sid."
"No... that's everything. I flew out as soon as I could the next day and didn't bother going back. Dad said Karri only ended up at Dal for one semester before moving back home, but I never talked to her again after that... not until she came here."
He looked over his shoulder again and I followed his gaze. Karrington was standing a few feet back, her tiny frame shaking with sobs.
"Well, I think this is my cue to leave." He got up and tossed me the keys to his SUV before walking over to where my dad had parked our car. Mario waved goodbye and got in. They backed out and drove off down the road, leaving Karrington and I alone.
I didn't know what else to do so I stood up and walked over to her. "I'm really sorry about last night Karrington... I had no right to say those things to you, I was wrong and I'm sorry."
She shook her head, still looking down at her feet, frame still shaking. I took a step towards her afraid of her reaction, but she responded by shuffling towards me, I caught her as she fell into my arms. She cried for a long time. Long enough that I sat down and pulled her into my lap, trying to comfort her as best I could. When the tears subsided I hugged her tightly and let her think. Finally she pushed away from me and looked up into my eyes. "Sidney, I never meant that I didn't want you. I didn't want to go to Pittsburgh with you because I was scared."
"Scared of what, you know I would have protected you from anythi-"
"I was scared of you."
I stopped talking. I thought about her words, trying to make sense of them, when she pulled my attention back.
"I was scared of you leaving me."
"I don't understand..."
"Sidney. I love you, I have always loved you but you don't know how hard it's been to love you. Ever since we were children people always had these great expectations for you and I was just some nobody from nowhere. When you got drafted I was happy for you... but I knew my time with you was coming to an end. I just assumed you wouldn't want me anymore once all your... options... opened up.
I told you I couldn't go to Pittsburgh because I wanted to go to University. I wanted to go and get an education and get a good job, so that in a few years, once you'd moved on... I'd be able to support myself. I was terrified of moving to the states with you, living with you for a few years and then having you find someone better then me. Then where would I be? No education, no job, useless. I needed to make sure that I had everything in order before I went down to live with you... I needed to make sure I had a back up plan."
"But... why would you need a back up plan? How many times did I tell you that you were the only one that had ever mattered to me? That HAS ever mattered to me. Karrington, it's always been you. No other girl could ever take your place... what do I have to do to make you see that!?"
"Sid... you're too good for me. I know that sounds corney but it's true. You're sweet, smart, talented, funny, beautiful, just amazing! Not to mention that you were about to become the face of the NHL, a superstar. I thought once you got to Pittsburgh you would decided you wanted someone that deserved you more, some trophy wife. I was so afraid that you would either leave me with... literally nothing, or that you would stay with me even when you didn't want me anymore; out of some sense of obligation."
I sighed and pulled her against me tighter. "You know what Karrington... you're right!"
"I am?" She let out a sigh, "I always knew I was... doesn't make it easier to hear..."
"Well let's face it... I am sweet, pretty much the smartest guy ever. I'm hilarious and damn sexy. I'm basically the best hockey player that ever lived... and I don't think there's a girl alive that would be able to resist my amazing charm..."
"Sidney Patrick Crosby... are you making fun of me?" She looked at me, her green eyes glowing.
"No way... I'm too sweet to do something like that."
"Ugh!" She punched me in the shoulder. "I don't believe this, the first heart to heart conversation we've had in years and you turn it into a joke!"
"Mmmhmmm... on of my many talents. But you know what's not a joke?"
"Oh, what's this now?"
"That I love you. That there hasn't been a day pass, where I thought for one minute I would be happy without you. You were, are and will always be the only woman that I will ever want. I was dumb enough to let you out of my life once... I will not do it again..." She had crushed her lips against mine before I was done talking. I easily lifted her up and turned her in my lap, so that she was stratling me. Our lips never left as I pushed her down onto the grass, pushing my leg up between her thighs. This didn't seem like the best time or the most appropriate place but I had always been better at expressing things physically, and I wasn't taking any chances.
I wanted to make it speical and perfect but that idea didn't stick around for long. I pulled her back up on my lap and pushed her down on top of me; using her weight to push myself deeper inside of her.
By the time we finished making love I knew that we should be heading back. I was almost too exhausted and comfortable to get up off the grass, wihile she was cuddled beside me. However, the last thing I wanted was for my dad to come back looking for us, and as much as I was sure Mario would appreciate us keeping our activites out of his vehicle, I'm not sure my father would approve of our... outdoor 'adventure'. I also knew that I owed Marc and Vero an apology... they were probably dying to know what happened...
I pushed myself off the ground and pulled Karri up to meet my lips. I smiled at her enthusiasm as she kissed me back, when a thought struck me. "I have a request."
"Oh?"
"Well, seeing as how your fears were... me finding someone else, and school..."
"Yes..."
"And since I've proved that there will never be no one else... and you're not in school... I want you to move in with me."
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Chapter 4: It's all coming back to me now...
*** A little short but I there's 'alot' in it I feel... hope you enjoy***
Dinner ended without a hitch. We had all had a great time and it was beginning to feel like things in my personal life were starting to work out again. I couldn't help but smile as Karrington and I drove back to my house, Marc, Vero, Oksana and Geno followed us in Marc's truck. She had been so much more talkative tonight then she had been when she first arrived and although I knew we still had some major issues to figure out between us, all that mattered to me was the fact that there might be an 'us' again. For that, I was willing to work through anything.
Sana and Geno didn't stay around for long, they were in a rush to get home and we all knew better than to ask questions. Marc, Vero, Karri and I settled in to watch a movie. Somehow the girls suckered us in to watch the Notebook, the only good thing about this was the fact that Karri was squeezed in beside me on the couch.
As the movie began I slowly slid myself closer towards Kerri. Vero, who was to my right, moved so that she was leaning into Marc's lap; her feet nuddging me towards the oposite end of the couch - towards Karrington.
By the end of the movie I had my arm draped around her shoulder and was doing my best to comfort her. She was sobbing uncontrolably, as was Vero; Marc was giving me a confused look.
"They have already seen this movie, they know it's going to make them cry... so why do we always have to watch it?!"
"Cause it's so-so-so good!" Vero sobbed again, clutching onto Marc. We both looked at each other and exploded into laughter. Girls are strange.
Even though it was getting late, Marc and I had the next couple of days off so we decided to watch another movie. I left Marc and Vero in charge of picking one, as Karri and I headed into the kitchen to make more popcorn and refill our drinks.
I looked over at Karri who was still wipping the remainder of tears from her eyes, I couldn't help but shake my head and chuckle as I threw the popcorn into the microwave.
"What's so funny?"
"Girls in general... you and Vero especially."
"How so?"
"Well, you both know you're gonna cry but you still watch the movie."
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with a good sob fest! At least we're better than the girl in the movie." She laughed, grabbing some pop out of the fridge.
"Oh yah? What was wrong with her?"
"Seriously? Well first off, it's her faul that they wasted so many years! She knew where he was the whole time, she just didn't bother to go back."
"She didn't go back because she didn't think that he wanted her anymore... he could have fought for her but he didn't... He could have gone with her, been with her, but he didn't." I was starting to feel heated, this discussion was bringing up memories I wasn't sure I was ready to face.
'Oh please!" She slammed the plastic bottle onto the counter. "She knew exactly where to find him! If she really wanted to be with him then she should have stayed with him and not let anything get in their way! He's the one that never stopped loving her, he spent all those years proving just how much she meant to him by-"
"By what? By building a stupid house that has nothing to do with anything? He chose to stay there, it's not her fault that she had obligations, he could have moved on with her and then none of this ever would have happened!"
"Everything ok in here?" Flower was standing at the door, Vero was peering out from behind his scrawny back. I hadn't realized that we were yelling.
"Oh yah... just peachy!" I was in such a bad mood now that I didn't care if I was being ignorant to Marc. "Just trying to explain to Karrington here that if that stupid guy had of really wanted to be with the person that he supposedly loved... then he would have left that stupid crummy town and moved on with her! She could have taken care of him and they would have gotten to spend all those years together instead of both being miserable."
"Maybe he had his own obligations?! You ever think about that? Maybe he couldn't just up and leave everything behind! Maybe she should have understood that and tried to make it work regardless of the distance."
"Yah right obligations..."
"Yah some people have obligations beyond hockey, but I guess you haven't figured that out yet!"
"Oh right, right I forgot because Cole Harbour is just full of opportunity... wouldn't want to waste it! Hey, could go be with the guy I said I loved but no... think I'll just break his heart and then kick around this shit hole for a bit... sound about right?"
"YOU LEFT SIDNEY! NOT ME! I was right there the whole time, you could have came back at anytime and I would have been right there where you left me!"
"YOU LEFT ME! Don't you turn this into my fault... I had to go Karri! I got drafted! You're the one who decided that I wasn't the one you wanted... you're the one that would rather spend your life in Cole Harbour! You could have come with me!"
I hadn't realized that the yelling had escalated even furthur. Marc and Vero were stilling standing in the doorway looking like they wanted to say something, but weren't sure what that should be. A few feet behind them my parents were visable, both looking stunned.
The sudden apperance of my parents brought around a sense of maturity and I lowered my voice.
"You knew I wanted to be in the NHL, you knew that I was going to get drafted and you always, ALWAYS, said that you would come with me. Then it happened, and you told me you wouldn't go... what am I suppose to do with that Karrington? I wanted to take care of you, always be there for you just like I always wanted you to be there for me. I always thought you loved me like I loved you, but when it came down to it everything you said, every promise you ever made... it was all just words to you. Just words..."
I took a few steps backwards out of the kitchen before turning around and heading out the front door. I didn't stop to the voices calling after me, I didn't stop for a coat or to grab me keys. I slammed the door behind me as I ran down the front the steps. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I had to leave, as four years of heartache and sleepless nights washed over me.
Dinner ended without a hitch. We had all had a great time and it was beginning to feel like things in my personal life were starting to work out again. I couldn't help but smile as Karrington and I drove back to my house, Marc, Vero, Oksana and Geno followed us in Marc's truck. She had been so much more talkative tonight then she had been when she first arrived and although I knew we still had some major issues to figure out between us, all that mattered to me was the fact that there might be an 'us' again. For that, I was willing to work through anything.
Sana and Geno didn't stay around for long, they were in a rush to get home and we all knew better than to ask questions. Marc, Vero, Karri and I settled in to watch a movie. Somehow the girls suckered us in to watch the Notebook, the only good thing about this was the fact that Karri was squeezed in beside me on the couch.
As the movie began I slowly slid myself closer towards Kerri. Vero, who was to my right, moved so that she was leaning into Marc's lap; her feet nuddging me towards the oposite end of the couch - towards Karrington.
By the end of the movie I had my arm draped around her shoulder and was doing my best to comfort her. She was sobbing uncontrolably, as was Vero; Marc was giving me a confused look.
"They have already seen this movie, they know it's going to make them cry... so why do we always have to watch it?!"
"Cause it's so-so-so good!" Vero sobbed again, clutching onto Marc. We both looked at each other and exploded into laughter. Girls are strange.
Even though it was getting late, Marc and I had the next couple of days off so we decided to watch another movie. I left Marc and Vero in charge of picking one, as Karri and I headed into the kitchen to make more popcorn and refill our drinks.
I looked over at Karri who was still wipping the remainder of tears from her eyes, I couldn't help but shake my head and chuckle as I threw the popcorn into the microwave.
"What's so funny?"
"Girls in general... you and Vero especially."
"How so?"
"Well, you both know you're gonna cry but you still watch the movie."
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with a good sob fest! At least we're better than the girl in the movie." She laughed, grabbing some pop out of the fridge.
"Oh yah? What was wrong with her?"
"Seriously? Well first off, it's her faul that they wasted so many years! She knew where he was the whole time, she just didn't bother to go back."
"She didn't go back because she didn't think that he wanted her anymore... he could have fought for her but he didn't... He could have gone with her, been with her, but he didn't." I was starting to feel heated, this discussion was bringing up memories I wasn't sure I was ready to face.
'Oh please!" She slammed the plastic bottle onto the counter. "She knew exactly where to find him! If she really wanted to be with him then she should have stayed with him and not let anything get in their way! He's the one that never stopped loving her, he spent all those years proving just how much she meant to him by-"
"By what? By building a stupid house that has nothing to do with anything? He chose to stay there, it's not her fault that she had obligations, he could have moved on with her and then none of this ever would have happened!"
"Everything ok in here?" Flower was standing at the door, Vero was peering out from behind his scrawny back. I hadn't realized that we were yelling.
"Oh yah... just peachy!" I was in such a bad mood now that I didn't care if I was being ignorant to Marc. "Just trying to explain to Karrington here that if that stupid guy had of really wanted to be with the person that he supposedly loved... then he would have left that stupid crummy town and moved on with her! She could have taken care of him and they would have gotten to spend all those years together instead of both being miserable."
"Maybe he had his own obligations?! You ever think about that? Maybe he couldn't just up and leave everything behind! Maybe she should have understood that and tried to make it work regardless of the distance."
"Yah right obligations..."
"Yah some people have obligations beyond hockey, but I guess you haven't figured that out yet!"
"Oh right, right I forgot because Cole Harbour is just full of opportunity... wouldn't want to waste it! Hey, could go be with the guy I said I loved but no... think I'll just break his heart and then kick around this shit hole for a bit... sound about right?"
"YOU LEFT SIDNEY! NOT ME! I was right there the whole time, you could have came back at anytime and I would have been right there where you left me!"
"YOU LEFT ME! Don't you turn this into my fault... I had to go Karri! I got drafted! You're the one who decided that I wasn't the one you wanted... you're the one that would rather spend your life in Cole Harbour! You could have come with me!"
I hadn't realized that the yelling had escalated even furthur. Marc and Vero were stilling standing in the doorway looking like they wanted to say something, but weren't sure what that should be. A few feet behind them my parents were visable, both looking stunned.
The sudden apperance of my parents brought around a sense of maturity and I lowered my voice.
"You knew I wanted to be in the NHL, you knew that I was going to get drafted and you always, ALWAYS, said that you would come with me. Then it happened, and you told me you wouldn't go... what am I suppose to do with that Karrington? I wanted to take care of you, always be there for you just like I always wanted you to be there for me. I always thought you loved me like I loved you, but when it came down to it everything you said, every promise you ever made... it was all just words to you. Just words..."
I took a few steps backwards out of the kitchen before turning around and heading out the front door. I didn't stop to the voices calling after me, I didn't stop for a coat or to grab me keys. I slammed the door behind me as I ran down the front the steps. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I had to leave, as four years of heartache and sleepless nights washed over me.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Chapter 3: Every girls crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man...
"No, absolutely not, there is no way I am spending today in the mall!" Flower was fighting a loosing battle and we all knew it. I sat at the living-room beside Oksana, both of us laughing at Flower's attempts to get out of the day-trip that Vero and her had planned.
"I think you might as well accept it, you will be going." Sana chuckled loudly over her shoulder, her deep Russian accent a cold contrast to the light flowing French that was now coming out of the kitchen.
Marc walked into sight, a giant pout playing on his lips as he plopped his skinny body onto the couch next to me. "Women... not only do they want to spend all our money... they want to make us watch them do it!"
"You would think I was bringing him to the slaughter!" Vero laughed, following Marc out into the living-room. She affectionately messed up his hair before walking to the door and slidding on a pair of shoes. "We'll be in the car once you get dressed... come on Sana I want to show you where we're thinking of putting in the pool." Oksana got up and followed Vero outside, throwing a wink and Flower and I before departing.
"Ugh!" Flower exclaimed flopping back into the couch. I couldn't help but laugh at him... he really was a baby sometimes.
After a few minutes of saying nothing and listening to the sounds of Vero and Sana giggling from outside, Marc finally broke the silence. "So... how was last night?"
"It was alright, I mean, she's gone with mom and Taylor this morning but she said she had plans to get ready with Vero and Oksana tonight. Best I can hope for."
"Well it might be better to take things slow anyway, eh?" He looked over at me and I adverted my eyes. "Eh?" I couldn't keep the heat from rising in my face, just like I couldn't keep a goofy grin from spreading across my face. "Woah! ...woah! When?"
"Remember when I said I found her in my bed?"
"You mean she was waiting to have sex with you?!"
"Not exactly... let's just say it was... well... kind of a surprise...?"
Flower shook his head and laughed, "only you could get away with waking a girl up like that..."
"Who is to be wake up?" A deep voice caused us both to jump. In the course of our conversation, neither of us had heared Geno come in. Now the oversized Russian was looking up the stairs towards the bedrooms.
"No Geno, no one has to be woken up... Sidney woke Karrington... oh nevermind!" Flower flopped back down on the couch for the third time, once again in defeat.
Geno shrugged, "We're going now?" He asked pointing at the front door, "girls are in the car waiting, they tell me to come get you."
I pushed myself up off the couch and made my way over to the door, Geno close behind me, "No... no way! She made me go last week, and as man of this house I refuse to be used as a dress-up doll again!"
Fifteen minutes later Marc, Geno and I were squeezed into the backseat of Marc's truck as Vero pulled the black, tinted vehicle into the parking lot of the mall. It was a beautiful sunny Thursday in Pittsburgh, and as such, the mall was fairly quiet.
We spent two hours following the girls from store to store before they turned their attention onto us. Apparently they felt that my wardrobe was in complete shambles and that all the pieces needed to be updated immediatly; much to the satisfaction of Geno and Marc. After finding out my size and giving up on trying to force anything on me, they had taken to stealing my credit card and taking matters into their own hands.
The guys and I sat on a bench in the middle of the hall, signing the occasional autograph and poseing for a few pictures.
As 3 o'clock rolled on I was getting impatient, but the guys looked completely at ease. "They're not even close to done, you know that right?" Marc laughed, taking in my bouncing legs as I tried to sit still.
"How is that even possible? We've been here for like four hours!"
"Get use to it man this is what they do best..."
"Oksana only leave when they turn off lights." Geno agreed, playing with the straw of his slushy.
"If this is what the girlfriends of pro hockey players are like... I'm starting to re-evaluate my whole perspective on being single..." They laughed as I shook my head, luckily for me Karrington hated shopping just as much as I do; I didn't feel like gloating though, so I kept that to myself.
We were back at Vero and Marc's by 4:30, with more bags on floor than I thought could possibly have fit inside Marc's truck.
It had been decided that I would be wearing a dark blue button-down shirt and beige dress pants that the girls had just purchased - along with about fifty other things. I grabbed the bags that Vero indicated to be mine and stuffed them into the back of my rover before peeling it back to my place with Marc and Geno.
Mom was in the process of beginning supper when we got home. Geno headed into the den to talk to my dad as Marc and I headed upstairs to my room.
I was unnaturally nervous about tonight. It didn't seem to make sense. It wasn't like I had never gone on a date with Karrington before, and this time I would have my closest friends with me.
I hopped in the shower and changed quickly, heading downstairs to find my family already eating. Marc was showering in the upstairs bathroom, Geno had taken the bathroom off the spare bedroom.
I cursed myself for rushing to get ready; what was I going to do with all this time now? I paced back and forth in the living room, to the amusement of my father. "Nervous Sidney?" he chuckled from the kitchen table.
"No, why would you think that?" I replied sarcastically, never pausing my step.
"You know, for someone who goes head to head with the biggest guys in the NHL, you'd think spending time with a 100lb girl would be nothing." My dad and Taylor both started laughing. Mom shushed him but couldn't contain the smile that was spreading across her own face. This was the last thing I needed.
I headed outside to take a walk around, maybe the fresh air would calm me down a bit.
I had taken a full walk around the neighbourhood when I saw Marc and Geno waiting out on the porch for me. "Vero called," Marc shouted over to me, "we're meeting them at the resturaunt." I nodded as I headed towards my rover.
The drive to the restuarant flew by. The boys spoke words on encouragement to me but I remained silent, focusing on the road; trying to keep my mind positive. Karrington had given me so many positive signs since she had arrived in Pittsburgh, but I still couldn't be sure. Everything had seemed so perfect when she had ended it before.
We were the first ones there and made our way back to the VIP section that Flower had reserved for tonight.
We were already on our second round of beers when the girls finally came up the stairs. Vero and Sana looked beautiful, as they always did; like the girls right off the magazine covers. Yet there was nothing to hold my attention on them as Karrington came into focus. She was wearing a simple dark-blue cocktail dress, one that matched my shirt perfectly (I could only assume from Veros' smile that this had been planned in advance), and minimal make-up, but she was still the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.
Okay breath Crosby... you can do this. You fought Andrew Ference, you can do this... youngest captain to win the Stanley Cup... no prob...
"You look good man." I breathed as she took the seat beside me. Ok, you didn't not just call her 'man'...
"Thanks, you look pretty good too... dude." She laughed at the look on my face, her cheeks flushed a familiar pink.
Everyone started into casual conversation, laughing and telling stories to each other as I continued to steal glances at her, but every now and then I caught her looking at me too.
At one point during the evening I saw a familar sparkle in her eye as my hand brushed her accidently, and it amazes me how perfectly all the feelings that I ever had for her fall back into place. Can it really be this easy?
"I think you might as well accept it, you will be going." Sana chuckled loudly over her shoulder, her deep Russian accent a cold contrast to the light flowing French that was now coming out of the kitchen.
Marc walked into sight, a giant pout playing on his lips as he plopped his skinny body onto the couch next to me. "Women... not only do they want to spend all our money... they want to make us watch them do it!"
"You would think I was bringing him to the slaughter!" Vero laughed, following Marc out into the living-room. She affectionately messed up his hair before walking to the door and slidding on a pair of shoes. "We'll be in the car once you get dressed... come on Sana I want to show you where we're thinking of putting in the pool." Oksana got up and followed Vero outside, throwing a wink and Flower and I before departing.
"Ugh!" Flower exclaimed flopping back into the couch. I couldn't help but laugh at him... he really was a baby sometimes.
After a few minutes of saying nothing and listening to the sounds of Vero and Sana giggling from outside, Marc finally broke the silence. "So... how was last night?"
"It was alright, I mean, she's gone with mom and Taylor this morning but she said she had plans to get ready with Vero and Oksana tonight. Best I can hope for."
"Well it might be better to take things slow anyway, eh?" He looked over at me and I adverted my eyes. "Eh?" I couldn't keep the heat from rising in my face, just like I couldn't keep a goofy grin from spreading across my face. "Woah! ...woah! When?"
"Remember when I said I found her in my bed?"
"You mean she was waiting to have sex with you?!"
"Not exactly... let's just say it was... well... kind of a surprise...?"
Flower shook his head and laughed, "only you could get away with waking a girl up like that..."
"Who is to be wake up?" A deep voice caused us both to jump. In the course of our conversation, neither of us had heared Geno come in. Now the oversized Russian was looking up the stairs towards the bedrooms.
"No Geno, no one has to be woken up... Sidney woke Karrington... oh nevermind!" Flower flopped back down on the couch for the third time, once again in defeat.
Geno shrugged, "We're going now?" He asked pointing at the front door, "girls are in the car waiting, they tell me to come get you."
I pushed myself up off the couch and made my way over to the door, Geno close behind me, "No... no way! She made me go last week, and as man of this house I refuse to be used as a dress-up doll again!"
Fifteen minutes later Marc, Geno and I were squeezed into the backseat of Marc's truck as Vero pulled the black, tinted vehicle into the parking lot of the mall. It was a beautiful sunny Thursday in Pittsburgh, and as such, the mall was fairly quiet.
We spent two hours following the girls from store to store before they turned their attention onto us. Apparently they felt that my wardrobe was in complete shambles and that all the pieces needed to be updated immediatly; much to the satisfaction of Geno and Marc. After finding out my size and giving up on trying to force anything on me, they had taken to stealing my credit card and taking matters into their own hands.
The guys and I sat on a bench in the middle of the hall, signing the occasional autograph and poseing for a few pictures.
As 3 o'clock rolled on I was getting impatient, but the guys looked completely at ease. "They're not even close to done, you know that right?" Marc laughed, taking in my bouncing legs as I tried to sit still.
"How is that even possible? We've been here for like four hours!"
"Get use to it man this is what they do best..."
"Oksana only leave when they turn off lights." Geno agreed, playing with the straw of his slushy.
"If this is what the girlfriends of pro hockey players are like... I'm starting to re-evaluate my whole perspective on being single..." They laughed as I shook my head, luckily for me Karrington hated shopping just as much as I do; I didn't feel like gloating though, so I kept that to myself.
We were back at Vero and Marc's by 4:30, with more bags on floor than I thought could possibly have fit inside Marc's truck.
It had been decided that I would be wearing a dark blue button-down shirt and beige dress pants that the girls had just purchased - along with about fifty other things. I grabbed the bags that Vero indicated to be mine and stuffed them into the back of my rover before peeling it back to my place with Marc and Geno.
Mom was in the process of beginning supper when we got home. Geno headed into the den to talk to my dad as Marc and I headed upstairs to my room.
I was unnaturally nervous about tonight. It didn't seem to make sense. It wasn't like I had never gone on a date with Karrington before, and this time I would have my closest friends with me.
I hopped in the shower and changed quickly, heading downstairs to find my family already eating. Marc was showering in the upstairs bathroom, Geno had taken the bathroom off the spare bedroom.
I cursed myself for rushing to get ready; what was I going to do with all this time now? I paced back and forth in the living room, to the amusement of my father. "Nervous Sidney?" he chuckled from the kitchen table.
"No, why would you think that?" I replied sarcastically, never pausing my step.
"You know, for someone who goes head to head with the biggest guys in the NHL, you'd think spending time with a 100lb girl would be nothing." My dad and Taylor both started laughing. Mom shushed him but couldn't contain the smile that was spreading across her own face. This was the last thing I needed.
I headed outside to take a walk around, maybe the fresh air would calm me down a bit.
I had taken a full walk around the neighbourhood when I saw Marc and Geno waiting out on the porch for me. "Vero called," Marc shouted over to me, "we're meeting them at the resturaunt." I nodded as I headed towards my rover.
The drive to the restuarant flew by. The boys spoke words on encouragement to me but I remained silent, focusing on the road; trying to keep my mind positive. Karrington had given me so many positive signs since she had arrived in Pittsburgh, but I still couldn't be sure. Everything had seemed so perfect when she had ended it before.
We were the first ones there and made our way back to the VIP section that Flower had reserved for tonight.
We were already on our second round of beers when the girls finally came up the stairs. Vero and Sana looked beautiful, as they always did; like the girls right off the magazine covers. Yet there was nothing to hold my attention on them as Karrington came into focus. She was wearing a simple dark-blue cocktail dress, one that matched my shirt perfectly (I could only assume from Veros' smile that this had been planned in advance), and minimal make-up, but she was still the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.
Okay breath Crosby... you can do this. You fought Andrew Ference, you can do this... youngest captain to win the Stanley Cup... no prob...
"You look good man." I breathed as she took the seat beside me. Ok, you didn't not just call her 'man'...
"Thanks, you look pretty good too... dude." She laughed at the look on my face, her cheeks flushed a familiar pink.
Everyone started into casual conversation, laughing and telling stories to each other as I continued to steal glances at her, but every now and then I caught her looking at me too.
At one point during the evening I saw a familar sparkle in her eye as my hand brushed her accidently, and it amazes me how perfectly all the feelings that I ever had for her fall back into place. Can it really be this easy?
Monday, July 20, 2009
Comments
So I had this random idea for a story and threw out the first chapter not thinking much of it... I wasn't even sure if I was going to do anything with it or not. I just wanted you guys to know that this story is still alive because of your comments lol. After reading them I decided to continue on with it.
So thanks for following and I hope you enjoy it... not sure where this one's headed so let me know if you guys have any ideas!
So thanks for following and I hope you enjoy it... not sure where this one's headed so let me know if you guys have any ideas!
Chapter 2: Like old times
The drive to the rink was silent. Every now and then I would look over at Karrington and see her pointed out the window, her eyes never seeing anything we drove by. I'd known her long enough to be able to tell what kind of a mood she was in, and those instincts were telling me to keep my mouth shut now.
After the 'episode' in my bed she had curled around me, resting her head on my shoulder while I managed to sleep for an hour, believeing we had experienced some kind of break through. When I woke up she was already out of the shower and getting dressed, the invisible barrier that had kept us apart for so long; back up. I showered quickly, afraid she would be gone when I got out. But she had been sitting at the table waiting for me, and now here we were, pulling into the parking lot at the Arena.
I still had no idea what to say to my father when I saw him, but we were about to play Washington and I knew any conversation we want to have would have to wait, I needed to focus.
Karrington timidly followed me in the back doors. It took all my willpower to not reach out and take her hand as she walked half a step behind me towards the locker rooms. There was still a while before the game so I knew my parents would be still there with Mario. I prayed my father wouldn't say anything about who Karrington was to the guys, the last thing I needed was the third-degree before a game.
I stopped infront of the door and looked behind me, Karrington was gazing back at me, waiting for me to make the first move, "It's alright, they should all still be decent." She smiled at me as I pushed the door open.
When we walked in everything went quiet, all the guys now focusing their attention on Karrington. Thanks alot Dad. "Umm... this is Karrington, a... friend... from back home. Karrington, this is everyone." Random echoes of 'Hi', and 'How's it goin' filled the room as they all spoke at once. Karrington, never liking to be the centre of attention smiled back and gave a half-wave, taking a side-step to hide behind me. This caused Max to laughed as he pushed by me, extending his hand to Karrington.
"It's a pleasure to meet you ma peu de beauté!" He exclaimed taking her hand in his, "I hear this is your first NHL game, I hope you enjoy it! I am quiet a thrill to watch you know..." The room erupted into laughter and Max looked around questioningly "What, this is true!" He was unable to keep a straight face for long, I however found nothing funny about the situation.
"Sit down Max." I said hard, leaving no room for discussion. Anger was stabbing through me and I tried to control my breathing, I could feel my face heating to a deep red. The laughter died out the boys began exchanging silent smirks with one another.
"Alright Karebear, what do you say we head up with Mario... we're gonna watch the game from his box if that's ok." My Dad's voice cut through the silence, as Karrington nodded back. My dad gave my shoulder a pat as he and Mario walked by us and holding the door open. Karrington started to follow, pausing for a second at the door to look back at me. We stared at each other for an awkward second before she kept walking, the door closing quietly behind her.
As soon as it shut the room erupted once again, this time with cat-calls and whistles. "Oh come on guys, come on! We have a game..." I eventually sighed in defeat, heading over to my stall.
"So I must say that I am surprised, I thought you would have mentioned something this big to me..." Marc said quietly as I took a seat beside him. As much as I loved all the guys on the team, Flower was the only one I had ever confided in about Karrington, he knew everything.
"Yah well, I didn't really know myself until I found her in my bed a couple hours ago." I couldn't keep the smile off my face any longer, he smiled back.
"This is good, I'm happy to see you happy again. You have made up?"
"I don't know Flower, I mean, it seemed like it, it seemed like she really wanted me when she first saw me but, now it's back to the way it was... I just, I don't think I can go through losing her all over again."
"Well, she's still here, that's a start."
"Yah, it's a start..."
I sighed before beginning to undress. The way the guys were carrying on I knew it was going to be hard to focus on anything but her... and I was uncharacteristically nervous about the game. How long had it been since she'd seen me play?
"Geez Crosby! Looks like someone was happy to see you man..." Staalsy called from across the dressing room, everyone started to laugh again.
"What?" I turned around annoyed.
"Your back looks pretty bad..." Talbot answered a smug look on his face.
I turned around and walked into the bathroom, where I knew there was a mirror hanging above the sink. I turned around so that my back was to it and looked over my shoulder. There was a number of scratch marks going criss-cross over my entire back, I let out a chuckle, I didn't remember feeling this.
"Hey Crosby!" Talbot yelled, as I walked back into the locker room. "So we heard your Dad talking to Mario about her... he said this is the girl you use to date. I'm just saying to Staalsy that you were hiding her from me. You're scared she's gonna drop the zero and get with the hero!" He grinned pointing his thumbs at himself and raising his eyebrows as he said hero.
"Surely you're not referring to yourself," Mario said, as he walked back into the room "I mean, I wouldn't really consider you an upgrade." He began to laugh at the look of mock hurt that now played on Max's face. "And besides, according to Sidney's Dad he's already got this one sealed." He chuckled, giving me a smile as he passed, heading into the Medical room.
I let out a quiet groan and Marc chuckled as I sat back down beside him. "Well hey, Troy likes her... alot! And that's no small feat. You should be glad your parents love the same girl as you."
"No it's not that man, it's that she doesn't love me. I can still remember the day she told me she wouldn't come down here with me, it was the worse day of my life."
"She never actually said she didn't love you though, she just said that she needed to do her own thing. You already know what Vero has to say about this..." He said simply, as if that solved everything. You had to admire a man that never went against his better half, when Vero spoke he always listened, that was probably why they had such a good relationship.
I nodded, putting my head down and trying to get back into my routine. Allowing the banter in the locker room to drown out my thoughts as I went over the plays we had discussed at the early morning skate.
It felt great to be on the ice. It was the only place that I ever really felt whole anymore. I tried to ignore the fact that Karri was out there, tried to avoid looking for her. That lasted about 2 minutes. Before I knew it I was skating around aimlessly searching Mario's box for her familiar face. I finally found her, squeezed in between my father and the wall. He was busy talking to Mario but not busy enough that he didn't see me looking. I saw a smile cross his face and he elbowed Mario and said something. They both looked back at me and laughed, I felt my face heating up again. "Hey Sid, we practice now?" Genos' deep voice startled me and caused me to jump. I could hear Max and Jordan laughing from somewhere behind us.
"Yah Geno, sorry, let's start with shots, tell Marc to get in nets." I exhaled slowly, please, please don't let me screw this up.
We won. 5-1, I had gotten 2 goals and 2 assists. The team had played excellent together and I was ecstatic. The best of the whole game was looking up into the box everytime we scored and seeing Karri jumping up and down in her seat, clapping her hands and cheering. It brought me back to my days with Dartmouth and Rimouski when she use to cheer herself hoarse for me. It was fun to pretend that she was excited for me again, and not just excited to be watching a professional game for the first time.
The reporters were swarming on me, like usual, in the dressing room. The were hyped up about how we had 'shut Ovechkin down' and 'knocked him off a nine game scoring streak'. Normally I would be glad to talk about how great we did, but tonight, all I wanted was to get out of here as soon as possible.
After what felt like forever the room began to clear and I finished up the last of my interviews, heading quickly for the shower. By the time I came out only Geno and Marc were left. They were standing by the door talking, and waiting for me.
"Sid, we go to the Diesel. You going to come with me and Flower or you're going home?" Geno asked, leaning back against the wall, keys in hand.
"Ummm... I think I'll go out with you guys actually."
Marc and Geno both grinned, "I don't believe it! We try for whole season to get him to come and all along we just need to bring girl with us! Who knew?"
I laughed along with them as we made our way up to Mario's box. My eyes automatically looked for Karrington and I found her easily, leaning back against the wall, her arms wrapped around herself. She was looking very uncomfortable and it wasn't hard to tell why.
"...Max..." I mumbled under my breath as I made my way over to them. "Hey Karebear-- umm, Karri, some of the guys are going out to Diesel, do you wanna come or should I just take you home... to my house... not home but, to where you guys are staying..." I trailed off, seeing Max and knowing exactly what he was up to was making me flustered. I couldn't even talk right and I was feeling like an idiot. This will win her back for sure... girls love guys that can't form coherient thoughts...
"What are you doing?" She asked, catching me off guard as she stepped out from around Max to stand in front of me.
"Well, what are you doing...?" God! I'm an idiot! I sound like I'm nine again...
She laughed quietly, "I'm not really dressed for a bar but if you want me to go, I'll go. Don't go home on my account."
"Alright cool, ok if we ride with Geno and Flower?"
"Hey, hey! What about me?!" Max pouted, glaring at Geno, who was laughing deeply. "...Russian..." He complained walking past Geno and Marc, towards the parking lot.
"So, do many people go here?" Karri asked from the back-seat, between Marc and Max.
"Most of the young guys from the team. My Vero will be there too so you can meet her, Geno's girlfriend too. Sorry..." Marc answered going quiet beside her, he seemed to think he had said something wrong, bringing up the girlfriends. I was glad for the darkness, so no one could see the look of pain on my face. Karri would never fit into that category again... at least not for me.
"Sorry for what?" She pressed, she must assume they still didn't know about our past.
"I don't think she'd be mad... but... if it was me I would be embarrassed too if I use to date Crosby..."
"Oh!" She exclaimed, finally picking up on Marc's apology.
"See, you can count on me to tell you anything... I'm the only one who will tell it to you straight. Flower's too much of a gentleman," Marc nodded in agreement as Max went on, "Sidney doesn't have the balls, and the Russian kid doesn't know what's going on..."
"Hey! I know where we're going!" Geno called over his shoulder causing us all the burst out in laughter.
So my whole family loves her, and now my friends are starting to love her... I was sure things couldn't be set out better for us, but for whatever reason, I couldn't see it ever being like it was before.
We pulled into the parking lot and made our way into the club, up to our normal VIP area. I took a seat on one of the couches and Karrington sat down beside me; filling the space between Jordan and I. Marc made his way over to us with Vero on his arm, I stood up to give her a hug before introducing her to Karrington. She was unsurprised and perfectly composed when they shook hands and this lead me to believe that Flower had alraedy gotten her up to speed on everything. Jordan got up and allowed Marc and Vero to sit down, Karrington and her started chatting right away, laughing and smilling while I half-heartedly carried on a conversation across the couch at Marc.
Oksana and Geno were the next ones to hit the VIP lounge, the random girls in the area started shooting the trademark 'God I hate that Russian bitch' look that hanging out with Oksana had gotten me so accustomed to. I chuckled as she came forward to give me a hug and I accepted her congradulations before introducing her to Karrington. I left the three girls talking and Marc, Geno and I made our way over to Max and Jordan. After a few minutes of picking on Geno I turned around to see Oksana leading Karrington onto the dance floor, Vero in tow. I laughed out loud at the look on her face, Karri hated dancing more than I did.
"So, they all seem really great." Karrington said, her legs curled up underneath her as we drove out of the parking lot; Geno having just dropped us back at my car.
"Yah... Sana an Vero seem to be pretty smitten with you."
She laughed and started looking out the window, "they're not what I expected that's for sure. I'd always heard people say that Vero was really nice, but she's even nicer than I thought and well... Sana... usually..."
"Usually people go on about how awful she is." I finished for her. She nodded and sighed.
"It must be hard, having everyone hate you... it's like, it doesn't even bother her though. I remember people us to hate me when you played on Rimouski. I'd be walking with you somewhere and there'd be random people glaring at me. I wish I had of had her composure."
"Well," I began, my voice husky, "She loves Geno and he loves her. She's not going to let anyone come between that... she just knows what she wants." I finished quietly, hoping Karri couldn't hear the emotion in my voice. It caught me off guard how easily she could bring up our past like that, it looked like it didn't even effect her at all. I sighed.
We pulled into the driveway and got out of the car, walking up the front steps slowly. We stopped on the porch and stood there for a minute, looking around at everything but each other. "Well... tonight was alot of fun, thank you for taking me with you." She smiled, looking up at me.
"Anytime..." I whispered back, her face was inches from mine now, "I'm really glad you came down Karebear..."
The loud music of Hockey Night in Canada caused us both to jump as my phone went off in my pocket. We both took a step back as I pulled it out. "Hello Flower," I sighed holding it up to my ear and smiling at Karri.
"Hey! We're not interrupting are we?"
"We?"
"Yah you're on speaker, Vero is here with me."
"Hi Sidney!" She called from the other end.
"Hi Vero..." I sighed again, Kerri laughed.
"Well we just wanted to say that we really like her and we think that we should go out tomorrow night... double date eh?"
"You're speaking as a single entity now?" I chuckled, "Yah, that sounds good I'll ask her tomorrow."
"Ask her now!" Vero cried, I could hear her clapping her hands.
I sighed again, "Karrington they want to go on a double date tomorrow night... is that..."
"That'd be great!" She flashed me a grin.
"Oh... ummm she's says that sounds good... I'll talk to you tomorrow." I hung up the phone and put it back in my pocket. Before I had even pulled my hand out it was going off again.
"Hi Sana..."
"Hi Sidney! I just wanted to say that I was talking to Geno about this friend of yours, and he has told me that you were once together."
"Uh huh..." I rolled my eyes, Oksana had become like a second mother to me and often felt the need to keep women she didn't like away from me, not that there were many I made time for.
"As your adopted older sister... I feel is my duty to tell you that you'll be disowned if you screw this up again... she's a keeper!"
I laughed, "thank for the vote of confidence there Sana... I'll talk to you guys later, have a good night."
I turned my phone off before putting it into my pocket this time. We stood on the step for another minute before Karrington laughed. "I guess seeing as how we're both going inside... we could probably just... go in." I laughed with her.
"I never even thought about that... old habit I guess..."
I opened up the door for her and followed her through, we went up the stairs side by side and reached my bedroom door. The house was quiet and I knew that everyone else was already asleep. "Well, I'll grab my things and move into one of the spares... I don't want to impose on you again..."
"No really it's fine-" I was beginning to say when I heard someone getting out of bed. We both fell quiet and a minute later Taylor appeared in the hallway.
"Hey Karebear! There you are! Come sleep in here with me... I got a giant king sized bed all to myself!"
"Oh well, that's that solved then!" Karri smiled at me before entering my room. I stood in the hallway trying not to be angry with Taylor as Karri pulled her suitcase down the hall into Taylor's room.
"Night Sidney..." She called to me, stopping at the doorway to wave goodnight.
"Night Karrie..." I smiled as I went into my own room and flopped down on the bed.
She hadn't exactly come right out and turn me down that time and it was really the best I could hope for. Karrington had made it very clear that she didn't want to be with me like that... so why was I still doing this to myself?
After the 'episode' in my bed she had curled around me, resting her head on my shoulder while I managed to sleep for an hour, believeing we had experienced some kind of break through. When I woke up she was already out of the shower and getting dressed, the invisible barrier that had kept us apart for so long; back up. I showered quickly, afraid she would be gone when I got out. But she had been sitting at the table waiting for me, and now here we were, pulling into the parking lot at the Arena.
I still had no idea what to say to my father when I saw him, but we were about to play Washington and I knew any conversation we want to have would have to wait, I needed to focus.
Karrington timidly followed me in the back doors. It took all my willpower to not reach out and take her hand as she walked half a step behind me towards the locker rooms. There was still a while before the game so I knew my parents would be still there with Mario. I prayed my father wouldn't say anything about who Karrington was to the guys, the last thing I needed was the third-degree before a game.
I stopped infront of the door and looked behind me, Karrington was gazing back at me, waiting for me to make the first move, "It's alright, they should all still be decent." She smiled at me as I pushed the door open.
When we walked in everything went quiet, all the guys now focusing their attention on Karrington. Thanks alot Dad. "Umm... this is Karrington, a... friend... from back home. Karrington, this is everyone." Random echoes of 'Hi', and 'How's it goin' filled the room as they all spoke at once. Karrington, never liking to be the centre of attention smiled back and gave a half-wave, taking a side-step to hide behind me. This caused Max to laughed as he pushed by me, extending his hand to Karrington.
"It's a pleasure to meet you ma peu de beauté!" He exclaimed taking her hand in his, "I hear this is your first NHL game, I hope you enjoy it! I am quiet a thrill to watch you know..." The room erupted into laughter and Max looked around questioningly "What, this is true!" He was unable to keep a straight face for long, I however found nothing funny about the situation.
"Sit down Max." I said hard, leaving no room for discussion. Anger was stabbing through me and I tried to control my breathing, I could feel my face heating to a deep red. The laughter died out the boys began exchanging silent smirks with one another.
"Alright Karebear, what do you say we head up with Mario... we're gonna watch the game from his box if that's ok." My Dad's voice cut through the silence, as Karrington nodded back. My dad gave my shoulder a pat as he and Mario walked by us and holding the door open. Karrington started to follow, pausing for a second at the door to look back at me. We stared at each other for an awkward second before she kept walking, the door closing quietly behind her.
As soon as it shut the room erupted once again, this time with cat-calls and whistles. "Oh come on guys, come on! We have a game..." I eventually sighed in defeat, heading over to my stall.
"So I must say that I am surprised, I thought you would have mentioned something this big to me..." Marc said quietly as I took a seat beside him. As much as I loved all the guys on the team, Flower was the only one I had ever confided in about Karrington, he knew everything.
"Yah well, I didn't really know myself until I found her in my bed a couple hours ago." I couldn't keep the smile off my face any longer, he smiled back.
"This is good, I'm happy to see you happy again. You have made up?"
"I don't know Flower, I mean, it seemed like it, it seemed like she really wanted me when she first saw me but, now it's back to the way it was... I just, I don't think I can go through losing her all over again."
"Well, she's still here, that's a start."
"Yah, it's a start..."
I sighed before beginning to undress. The way the guys were carrying on I knew it was going to be hard to focus on anything but her... and I was uncharacteristically nervous about the game. How long had it been since she'd seen me play?
"Geez Crosby! Looks like someone was happy to see you man..." Staalsy called from across the dressing room, everyone started to laugh again.
"What?" I turned around annoyed.
"Your back looks pretty bad..." Talbot answered a smug look on his face.
I turned around and walked into the bathroom, where I knew there was a mirror hanging above the sink. I turned around so that my back was to it and looked over my shoulder. There was a number of scratch marks going criss-cross over my entire back, I let out a chuckle, I didn't remember feeling this.
"Hey Crosby!" Talbot yelled, as I walked back into the locker room. "So we heard your Dad talking to Mario about her... he said this is the girl you use to date. I'm just saying to Staalsy that you were hiding her from me. You're scared she's gonna drop the zero and get with the hero!" He grinned pointing his thumbs at himself and raising his eyebrows as he said hero.
"Surely you're not referring to yourself," Mario said, as he walked back into the room "I mean, I wouldn't really consider you an upgrade." He began to laugh at the look of mock hurt that now played on Max's face. "And besides, according to Sidney's Dad he's already got this one sealed." He chuckled, giving me a smile as he passed, heading into the Medical room.
I let out a quiet groan and Marc chuckled as I sat back down beside him. "Well hey, Troy likes her... alot! And that's no small feat. You should be glad your parents love the same girl as you."
"No it's not that man, it's that she doesn't love me. I can still remember the day she told me she wouldn't come down here with me, it was the worse day of my life."
"She never actually said she didn't love you though, she just said that she needed to do her own thing. You already know what Vero has to say about this..." He said simply, as if that solved everything. You had to admire a man that never went against his better half, when Vero spoke he always listened, that was probably why they had such a good relationship.
I nodded, putting my head down and trying to get back into my routine. Allowing the banter in the locker room to drown out my thoughts as I went over the plays we had discussed at the early morning skate.
It felt great to be on the ice. It was the only place that I ever really felt whole anymore. I tried to ignore the fact that Karri was out there, tried to avoid looking for her. That lasted about 2 minutes. Before I knew it I was skating around aimlessly searching Mario's box for her familiar face. I finally found her, squeezed in between my father and the wall. He was busy talking to Mario but not busy enough that he didn't see me looking. I saw a smile cross his face and he elbowed Mario and said something. They both looked back at me and laughed, I felt my face heating up again. "Hey Sid, we practice now?" Genos' deep voice startled me and caused me to jump. I could hear Max and Jordan laughing from somewhere behind us.
"Yah Geno, sorry, let's start with shots, tell Marc to get in nets." I exhaled slowly, please, please don't let me screw this up.
We won. 5-1, I had gotten 2 goals and 2 assists. The team had played excellent together and I was ecstatic. The best of the whole game was looking up into the box everytime we scored and seeing Karri jumping up and down in her seat, clapping her hands and cheering. It brought me back to my days with Dartmouth and Rimouski when she use to cheer herself hoarse for me. It was fun to pretend that she was excited for me again, and not just excited to be watching a professional game for the first time.
The reporters were swarming on me, like usual, in the dressing room. The were hyped up about how we had 'shut Ovechkin down' and 'knocked him off a nine game scoring streak'. Normally I would be glad to talk about how great we did, but tonight, all I wanted was to get out of here as soon as possible.
After what felt like forever the room began to clear and I finished up the last of my interviews, heading quickly for the shower. By the time I came out only Geno and Marc were left. They were standing by the door talking, and waiting for me.
"Sid, we go to the Diesel. You going to come with me and Flower or you're going home?" Geno asked, leaning back against the wall, keys in hand.
"Ummm... I think I'll go out with you guys actually."
Marc and Geno both grinned, "I don't believe it! We try for whole season to get him to come and all along we just need to bring girl with us! Who knew?"
I laughed along with them as we made our way up to Mario's box. My eyes automatically looked for Karrington and I found her easily, leaning back against the wall, her arms wrapped around herself. She was looking very uncomfortable and it wasn't hard to tell why.
"...Max..." I mumbled under my breath as I made my way over to them. "Hey Karebear-- umm, Karri, some of the guys are going out to Diesel, do you wanna come or should I just take you home... to my house... not home but, to where you guys are staying..." I trailed off, seeing Max and knowing exactly what he was up to was making me flustered. I couldn't even talk right and I was feeling like an idiot. This will win her back for sure... girls love guys that can't form coherient thoughts...
"What are you doing?" She asked, catching me off guard as she stepped out from around Max to stand in front of me.
"Well, what are you doing...?" God! I'm an idiot! I sound like I'm nine again...
She laughed quietly, "I'm not really dressed for a bar but if you want me to go, I'll go. Don't go home on my account."
"Alright cool, ok if we ride with Geno and Flower?"
"Hey, hey! What about me?!" Max pouted, glaring at Geno, who was laughing deeply. "...Russian..." He complained walking past Geno and Marc, towards the parking lot.
"So, do many people go here?" Karri asked from the back-seat, between Marc and Max.
"Most of the young guys from the team. My Vero will be there too so you can meet her, Geno's girlfriend too. Sorry..." Marc answered going quiet beside her, he seemed to think he had said something wrong, bringing up the girlfriends. I was glad for the darkness, so no one could see the look of pain on my face. Karri would never fit into that category again... at least not for me.
"Sorry for what?" She pressed, she must assume they still didn't know about our past.
"I don't think she'd be mad... but... if it was me I would be embarrassed too if I use to date Crosby..."
"Oh!" She exclaimed, finally picking up on Marc's apology.
"See, you can count on me to tell you anything... I'm the only one who will tell it to you straight. Flower's too much of a gentleman," Marc nodded in agreement as Max went on, "Sidney doesn't have the balls, and the Russian kid doesn't know what's going on..."
"Hey! I know where we're going!" Geno called over his shoulder causing us all the burst out in laughter.
So my whole family loves her, and now my friends are starting to love her... I was sure things couldn't be set out better for us, but for whatever reason, I couldn't see it ever being like it was before.
We pulled into the parking lot and made our way into the club, up to our normal VIP area. I took a seat on one of the couches and Karrington sat down beside me; filling the space between Jordan and I. Marc made his way over to us with Vero on his arm, I stood up to give her a hug before introducing her to Karrington. She was unsurprised and perfectly composed when they shook hands and this lead me to believe that Flower had alraedy gotten her up to speed on everything. Jordan got up and allowed Marc and Vero to sit down, Karrington and her started chatting right away, laughing and smilling while I half-heartedly carried on a conversation across the couch at Marc.
Oksana and Geno were the next ones to hit the VIP lounge, the random girls in the area started shooting the trademark 'God I hate that Russian bitch' look that hanging out with Oksana had gotten me so accustomed to. I chuckled as she came forward to give me a hug and I accepted her congradulations before introducing her to Karrington. I left the three girls talking and Marc, Geno and I made our way over to Max and Jordan. After a few minutes of picking on Geno I turned around to see Oksana leading Karrington onto the dance floor, Vero in tow. I laughed out loud at the look on her face, Karri hated dancing more than I did.
"So, they all seem really great." Karrington said, her legs curled up underneath her as we drove out of the parking lot; Geno having just dropped us back at my car.
"Yah... Sana an Vero seem to be pretty smitten with you."
She laughed and started looking out the window, "they're not what I expected that's for sure. I'd always heard people say that Vero was really nice, but she's even nicer than I thought and well... Sana... usually..."
"Usually people go on about how awful she is." I finished for her. She nodded and sighed.
"It must be hard, having everyone hate you... it's like, it doesn't even bother her though. I remember people us to hate me when you played on Rimouski. I'd be walking with you somewhere and there'd be random people glaring at me. I wish I had of had her composure."
"Well," I began, my voice husky, "She loves Geno and he loves her. She's not going to let anyone come between that... she just knows what she wants." I finished quietly, hoping Karri couldn't hear the emotion in my voice. It caught me off guard how easily she could bring up our past like that, it looked like it didn't even effect her at all. I sighed.
We pulled into the driveway and got out of the car, walking up the front steps slowly. We stopped on the porch and stood there for a minute, looking around at everything but each other. "Well... tonight was alot of fun, thank you for taking me with you." She smiled, looking up at me.
"Anytime..." I whispered back, her face was inches from mine now, "I'm really glad you came down Karebear..."
The loud music of Hockey Night in Canada caused us both to jump as my phone went off in my pocket. We both took a step back as I pulled it out. "Hello Flower," I sighed holding it up to my ear and smiling at Karri.
"Hey! We're not interrupting are we?"
"We?"
"Yah you're on speaker, Vero is here with me."
"Hi Sidney!" She called from the other end.
"Hi Vero..." I sighed again, Kerri laughed.
"Well we just wanted to say that we really like her and we think that we should go out tomorrow night... double date eh?"
"You're speaking as a single entity now?" I chuckled, "Yah, that sounds good I'll ask her tomorrow."
"Ask her now!" Vero cried, I could hear her clapping her hands.
I sighed again, "Karrington they want to go on a double date tomorrow night... is that..."
"That'd be great!" She flashed me a grin.
"Oh... ummm she's says that sounds good... I'll talk to you tomorrow." I hung up the phone and put it back in my pocket. Before I had even pulled my hand out it was going off again.
"Hi Sana..."
"Hi Sidney! I just wanted to say that I was talking to Geno about this friend of yours, and he has told me that you were once together."
"Uh huh..." I rolled my eyes, Oksana had become like a second mother to me and often felt the need to keep women she didn't like away from me, not that there were many I made time for.
"As your adopted older sister... I feel is my duty to tell you that you'll be disowned if you screw this up again... she's a keeper!"
I laughed, "thank for the vote of confidence there Sana... I'll talk to you guys later, have a good night."
I turned my phone off before putting it into my pocket this time. We stood on the step for another minute before Karrington laughed. "I guess seeing as how we're both going inside... we could probably just... go in." I laughed with her.
"I never even thought about that... old habit I guess..."
I opened up the door for her and followed her through, we went up the stairs side by side and reached my bedroom door. The house was quiet and I knew that everyone else was already asleep. "Well, I'll grab my things and move into one of the spares... I don't want to impose on you again..."
"No really it's fine-" I was beginning to say when I heard someone getting out of bed. We both fell quiet and a minute later Taylor appeared in the hallway.
"Hey Karebear! There you are! Come sleep in here with me... I got a giant king sized bed all to myself!"
"Oh well, that's that solved then!" Karri smiled at me before entering my room. I stood in the hallway trying not to be angry with Taylor as Karri pulled her suitcase down the hall into Taylor's room.
"Night Sidney..." She called to me, stopping at the doorway to wave goodnight.
"Night Karrie..." I smiled as I went into my own room and flopped down on the bed.
She hadn't exactly come right out and turn me down that time and it was really the best I could hope for. Karrington had made it very clear that she didn't want to be with me like that... so why was I still doing this to myself?
Friday, July 3, 2009
Chapter 1: Roadtrip
I let out a huge, over exaggerated sigh, repositioning myself in the back of the cramped car.
"Oh come on! It's not so bad... I thought teenagers loved roadtrips!" Troy called to me from the front of the car. I looked up to see him shaking his head, and I can only assuming he's laughing at me again.
"I really still can't believe I let you talk me into this..." I sighed again, "You know he's gonna be mad that no one told him I was coming."
"Oh that's not true Karrington! He'll be very happy to see you, I'm sure of it." Trina said matter-o-factly from beside Troy. She turned around to give me a big smile, which I tried to return; it came out more like a grimace.
"Hey Karebear... look at this!" Taylor shouted from beside me, slamming her laptop into my stomach hard.
"Ouch! Taylor... what are you... OH MY GOD! How are you getting internet access in the car?"
"Sidney gave me a wireless adaptor... I've been online since we've left home... but look what I've found! A 500 page photo album of the Jonas Brothers... YAY! Now we can look at them alllllllllllllllll the way to Pittsburgh!"
I put my hands over my face and groand, Troy could no longer keep his laughing fit quiet and his deep chuckles filled the car. "Next time we'll fly, promise." Troy said through his laughter.
"Okay first of all, there's not going to be a 'next time' , and secondly... why couldn't we fly this time?"
"If we flew down, Sidney would insist he pay... and then he'd want to know why we needed 4 plane tickets." Troy replied simply. I could feel his brown eyes watching me in the rearview mirror, and I just shook my head; causing him to laugh more.
"How much longer anyway?" I sighed, looking beside me to see a picture of Nick Jonas -shirtless- on the beach, I groaned again and looked out the window.
"Not too much longer. When we get there Sid should be at his morning skate. We'll just wait for him at home."
"Lovely..." I gave up trying to relax, I was drained... physically and emotionally. I had spent the last week without much sleep, worrying myself to death about this trip. I remembered back to the day I had seen Troy Crosby marching across the street to me; he had had the Crosby trademark 'I'm about to get my way' smile and I knew it couldn't be a good thing, for me at least. I had no idea that in a few days I'd be squished in the back of the family car, on my way to Pittsburgh.
Most people would prefer to get as far away from their ex-boyfriends family as possible, but in Cole Harbour you couldn't really hide - especially when you lived across the street from said family.
I had known Sidney Crosby my entire life. He was exactly one month older then me, and our parents had always been best friends. We had spent our early childhood attached at the hip and our parents always use to joke about us falling for each other. On my 13th birthday it finally happened, Sidney told me he loved me, and we stayed together through everything. When he moved to the states for hockey I visited once a month, and then when he moved to Quebec, Troy and I would drive up on weekends. We thought that we could make our relationship work no matter what, but that was before... before he rejected me.
Troy, Trina and Taylor loved to continually refer to me as Sidney's girlfriend. In fact when we stopped at a gas station a few hours before Troy saw someone he knew, he introduced us as his 'family' saying "my wife Trina, my daughter Taylor and our soon-to-be-daughter Karrington".
I loved them all to death but I wish that they would just stop it sometimes; I had a hard enough time not wishing Sidney still loved me, without them adding fuel to the flame. The last thing I wanted right now was to see Sidney, and that's exactly where we were heading. Troy had convinced me to drive to Pittsburgh for a week with them; and as much as I knew I shouldn't, those Crosby boys are hard to say no to.
At some point during the drive I feel asleep, dreaming of better times... of the times when Sidney was still mine.
"Oh come on! It's not so bad... I thought teenagers loved roadtrips!" Troy called to me from the front of the car. I looked up to see him shaking his head, and I can only assuming he's laughing at me again.
"I really still can't believe I let you talk me into this..." I sighed again, "You know he's gonna be mad that no one told him I was coming."
"Oh that's not true Karrington! He'll be very happy to see you, I'm sure of it." Trina said matter-o-factly from beside Troy. She turned around to give me a big smile, which I tried to return; it came out more like a grimace.
"Hey Karebear... look at this!" Taylor shouted from beside me, slamming her laptop into my stomach hard.
"Ouch! Taylor... what are you... OH MY GOD! How are you getting internet access in the car?"
"Sidney gave me a wireless adaptor... I've been online since we've left home... but look what I've found! A 500 page photo album of the Jonas Brothers... YAY! Now we can look at them alllllllllllllllll the way to Pittsburgh!"
I put my hands over my face and groand, Troy could no longer keep his laughing fit quiet and his deep chuckles filled the car. "Next time we'll fly, promise." Troy said through his laughter.
"Okay first of all, there's not going to be a 'next time' , and secondly... why couldn't we fly this time?"
"If we flew down, Sidney would insist he pay... and then he'd want to know why we needed 4 plane tickets." Troy replied simply. I could feel his brown eyes watching me in the rearview mirror, and I just shook my head; causing him to laugh more.
"How much longer anyway?" I sighed, looking beside me to see a picture of Nick Jonas -shirtless- on the beach, I groaned again and looked out the window.
"Not too much longer. When we get there Sid should be at his morning skate. We'll just wait for him at home."
"Lovely..." I gave up trying to relax, I was drained... physically and emotionally. I had spent the last week without much sleep, worrying myself to death about this trip. I remembered back to the day I had seen Troy Crosby marching across the street to me; he had had the Crosby trademark 'I'm about to get my way' smile and I knew it couldn't be a good thing, for me at least. I had no idea that in a few days I'd be squished in the back of the family car, on my way to Pittsburgh.
Most people would prefer to get as far away from their ex-boyfriends family as possible, but in Cole Harbour you couldn't really hide - especially when you lived across the street from said family.
I had known Sidney Crosby my entire life. He was exactly one month older then me, and our parents had always been best friends. We had spent our early childhood attached at the hip and our parents always use to joke about us falling for each other. On my 13th birthday it finally happened, Sidney told me he loved me, and we stayed together through everything. When he moved to the states for hockey I visited once a month, and then when he moved to Quebec, Troy and I would drive up on weekends. We thought that we could make our relationship work no matter what, but that was before... before he rejected me.
Troy, Trina and Taylor loved to continually refer to me as Sidney's girlfriend. In fact when we stopped at a gas station a few hours before Troy saw someone he knew, he introduced us as his 'family' saying "my wife Trina, my daughter Taylor and our soon-to-be-daughter Karrington".
I loved them all to death but I wish that they would just stop it sometimes; I had a hard enough time not wishing Sidney still loved me, without them adding fuel to the flame. The last thing I wanted right now was to see Sidney, and that's exactly where we were heading. Troy had convinced me to drive to Pittsburgh for a week with them; and as much as I knew I shouldn't, those Crosby boys are hard to say no to.
At some point during the drive I feel asleep, dreaming of better times... of the times when Sidney was still mine.
Sidney's POV
I pulled into the driveway and pressed the garage door opener. As I inched towards the house, waiting for the door to open so I could drive in, I noticed that my parking spot had already been taken. A slow smile spread across my face as I quickly shut off my SUV and ran into my house.
I threw open the door just in time to catch Taylor in my arms. I squeezed her into a tight bearhug and swung her around, making her squeal. I put her back down on her feet, keeping my arm around her shoulder and I moved forward into my house. My mom and dad were sitting at the kitchen table and I gave them both hugs before sitting down. "I can't believe you're here! I had no idea... why didn't you tell me you wanted to come down? I could have gotten you plane tickets... you didn't have to drive the whole way!"
My dad laughed, "We wanted to take a roadtrip, it's what all the hip kids are doing, right Taylor?" Taylor rolled her eyes and it made me smile.
"I thought you'd be home before now, you're gonna have to start getting ready for your game soon." My dad said, taking a sip of his coffee.
"I would have came home right after the skate if I knew you were going to be here! I grabbed some food with the guys and then hung out at Marc's for a bit."
"Well, don't worry about it. You should probably go up stairs and take your nap though..." A devilish look crossed over my fathers face, and my mom gently grabbed his arm.
"Troy, I'm not sure that's the best way..." She began but my dad stopped her.
"We'll head out for a bit, Taylor wants to go see some sights before the game tonight... we'll see you at the rink how 'bout?"
"Ummm... alright sure! We can go eat after." I said but, Taylor was already running towards the door. My dad gave me a slap on the arm and followed after her. My mom stood in my kitchen and looked at me for a minute. There was something in her eyes but I couldn't read it; sadness? disappointment? fear? ... hope? She gave me a tight hug goodbye and followed after the rest of my family.
I made my way upstairs to my room. I slowly opened my door and almost jumped out of my skin when I saw a shape in my bed. I moved around the bed to the far side, trying to see what it was. I reached the head of the bed and I felt my heart begin to pound and my knees go week. I slowly dropped down to my knees beside her and I couldn't stop the tears from falling.
I put my face in my hands and let myself cry; I was going to kill my father, or thank him... I was so overcome with emotion I couldn't even tell what I was thinking anymore. All I knew was that Karrington was here, she had come.
Part of me wanted to wake her up, take her in my arms and tell her that I loved her still, that I always had. The other part of me wanted to get up and leave, to not let her hurt me or reject me ever again.
I walked around to the foot of the bed and stood there for a long time, just watching her sleep. I fought with myself silently, but I already knew which half was going to win. If she came all this way then it might mean she actually cares about me, that some part of her actually wants me. Against my better judgement I pulled off my shirt and crawled into my bed beside her. I gently wrapped my arms around her and she leaned back, into the warmth of my body. I put my face into her hair, breathing her in before I moved my face down and started kissing the back of her neck. I heared her moan and then felt her stiffen. Slowly I loosened my grip on her and allowed her to turn around to face me.
She look terrified and tears were filling her eyes. I was so hurt and so angry with her but as soon as I saw her in pain I had to comfort her, "Sidney... I, I-" she began to say but I stopped her. I knew what she was going to say, she was going to tell me she didn't love me, that she never did. I couldn't bear to go through her rejection again, but I couldn't walk away. I pressed my lips to hers, before she could stop me. I pushed her onto her back and moved my way on top of her, using the weight of my body to hold her beneath me.
To my immediate surprise, she didn't bother trying to push me away. Instead, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in closer. Her hands wrapped into my hair and I couldn't stop myself.
I pulled off her shirt, jeans, bra and underwear; tossing them aside unceremoniusly. My lips never left hers, I didn't want to give her the chance to stop me. I removed my own clothes quickly and entered her without hesitation.
I knew I would regret this as soon as it was over. She would leave me again and the rejection would probably pull me under completely this time, but I just didn't care. For this moment I could lie to myself, I could pretend that she still belonged to me.
I pushed myself into her deeper and faster, always keeping my lips on hers. I felt her muscles begin to contract around me and all thoughts of my pre-game nap were forgotten.
I threw open the door just in time to catch Taylor in my arms. I squeezed her into a tight bearhug and swung her around, making her squeal. I put her back down on her feet, keeping my arm around her shoulder and I moved forward into my house. My mom and dad were sitting at the kitchen table and I gave them both hugs before sitting down. "I can't believe you're here! I had no idea... why didn't you tell me you wanted to come down? I could have gotten you plane tickets... you didn't have to drive the whole way!"
My dad laughed, "We wanted to take a roadtrip, it's what all the hip kids are doing, right Taylor?" Taylor rolled her eyes and it made me smile.
"I thought you'd be home before now, you're gonna have to start getting ready for your game soon." My dad said, taking a sip of his coffee.
"I would have came home right after the skate if I knew you were going to be here! I grabbed some food with the guys and then hung out at Marc's for a bit."
"Well, don't worry about it. You should probably go up stairs and take your nap though..." A devilish look crossed over my fathers face, and my mom gently grabbed his arm.
"Troy, I'm not sure that's the best way..." She began but my dad stopped her.
"We'll head out for a bit, Taylor wants to go see some sights before the game tonight... we'll see you at the rink how 'bout?"
"Ummm... alright sure! We can go eat after." I said but, Taylor was already running towards the door. My dad gave me a slap on the arm and followed after her. My mom stood in my kitchen and looked at me for a minute. There was something in her eyes but I couldn't read it; sadness? disappointment? fear? ... hope? She gave me a tight hug goodbye and followed after the rest of my family.
I made my way upstairs to my room. I slowly opened my door and almost jumped out of my skin when I saw a shape in my bed. I moved around the bed to the far side, trying to see what it was. I reached the head of the bed and I felt my heart begin to pound and my knees go week. I slowly dropped down to my knees beside her and I couldn't stop the tears from falling.
I put my face in my hands and let myself cry; I was going to kill my father, or thank him... I was so overcome with emotion I couldn't even tell what I was thinking anymore. All I knew was that Karrington was here, she had come.
Part of me wanted to wake her up, take her in my arms and tell her that I loved her still, that I always had. The other part of me wanted to get up and leave, to not let her hurt me or reject me ever again.
I walked around to the foot of the bed and stood there for a long time, just watching her sleep. I fought with myself silently, but I already knew which half was going to win. If she came all this way then it might mean she actually cares about me, that some part of her actually wants me. Against my better judgement I pulled off my shirt and crawled into my bed beside her. I gently wrapped my arms around her and she leaned back, into the warmth of my body. I put my face into her hair, breathing her in before I moved my face down and started kissing the back of her neck. I heared her moan and then felt her stiffen. Slowly I loosened my grip on her and allowed her to turn around to face me.
She look terrified and tears were filling her eyes. I was so hurt and so angry with her but as soon as I saw her in pain I had to comfort her, "Sidney... I, I-" she began to say but I stopped her. I knew what she was going to say, she was going to tell me she didn't love me, that she never did. I couldn't bear to go through her rejection again, but I couldn't walk away. I pressed my lips to hers, before she could stop me. I pushed her onto her back and moved my way on top of her, using the weight of my body to hold her beneath me.
To my immediate surprise, she didn't bother trying to push me away. Instead, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in closer. Her hands wrapped into my hair and I couldn't stop myself.
I pulled off her shirt, jeans, bra and underwear; tossing them aside unceremoniusly. My lips never left hers, I didn't want to give her the chance to stop me. I removed my own clothes quickly and entered her without hesitation.
I knew I would regret this as soon as it was over. She would leave me again and the rejection would probably pull me under completely this time, but I just didn't care. For this moment I could lie to myself, I could pretend that she still belonged to me.
I pushed myself into her deeper and faster, always keeping my lips on hers. I felt her muscles begin to contract around me and all thoughts of my pre-game nap were forgotten.
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